EGO is about Edging God/Goodness Out

Posted on March 3, 2012 by Celeste Emelia Mattingly

I recently have been involved in on online chat with a LinkedIn group about healing. We have been adding short comments in relation to the question ‘Why are some folks afraid to be healed?’ It has been a good discussion and here’s what I posted today:

The relinquishment of pain and all forms of suffering is foreign to the egoic mind. In today’s contemporary literature the definition of the ego has changed from the classical Freudian teachings. Simply put and defined as an acronym, the ‘EGO’ is all that Edges Goodness/God Out of our lives or our consciousness. It is totally fear-based and all about destruction and negativity. Logically, then and simply put as an acronym, the opposite of the ‘ego’ is all that is Good Orderly Direction or GOD- or more secularly all that is about love and positivism. Having worked with this concept for many years now, one would think that I would never get sick again, however that’s just not the case. Although my ‘ills at ease’ rarely prevent me from functioning and being successful, anymore. I need to be gentle with myself and accept that I am a spiritual being having a physical experience – complete with what makes me the most human, my ego. Learning to observe without judgement has been my biggest challenge and it is a big challenge we face as helping professionals, too.

What have been your experiences dealing with your egoic mind? I’d love to hear from you.

Smiles & Blessings,

Celeste Emelia 🙂

 

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Entitlement

Posted on August 15, 2011 by Celeste Emelia Mattingly

“Irrational should statements rest on your assumption that you are entitled to instant gratification at all times.” David D. Burns, M.D.

This quote is loaded with wisdom on many levels. We’ve all heard about should have’s, would have’s and could have’s, as well as what happens to us when we make assumptions. But what we don’t like to think about is the idea that when we don’t get our way, or what we want we can go into a rage or get panicked. We start telling ourselves that if we don’t get X, we “will either die or be tragically deprived of joy forever (X can represent love, affection, status, respect, promptness, perfection, niceness, etc.).” Those of us who have battled addictions of any sort have seen the tragic outcome of an attitude of entitlement to gratification.

Check out my handout on Cognitive Therapy!

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, David D. Burns, M.D. Harper Collins Publishers, New York, NY. 1980. pg. 159.

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Anger Management

Posted on June 27, 2011 by Celeste Emelia Mattingly

Looking for some tips on anger management or conflict resolution? View the PDF below and keep in mind the first step is identifying the problem. If we don’t admit we are angry or if we deny our conflicts we don’t stand a chance to have peace or an improved quality-of-life. Name it, observe it, and let it go is the same process for relinquishing ourselves from the trappings of the egoic mind.

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Prayer for Unfolding Light – Paul Ferrini

Posted on June 3, 2011 by Celeste Emelia Mattingly

Below is a beautiful prayer by best-selling author, Paul Ferrini. Paul is the author of the worldwide bestseller Love Without Conditions. Larry Dossey calls him a modern-day Kahlil Gibran and this beautiful prayer is truly evidence of that.

What really appeals to me in this prayer, is the universality of the concept of Higher Power. It is implied that HP is: Unfolding Light; Universal Spirit; ocean of energy; silent, unmoving center; warm healing energy; oneness of Spirit; [and of course the ultimate] unconditional love. It is inferred that HP can do the following: assist us in releasing all self-created fears, doubts and mistaken beliefs; dissolve tensions; circulate through our bodies and even direct us to the highest manifestation of our energy as individuals, and as a group. Wow! With all this one wonders why we continue to suffer…

A Course in Miracles teaches us that our belief in separateness is the culprit. In Paul’s prayer the sentence “… Assist us now in releasing all self-created fears, doubts and mistaken beliefs…” has a telling phrase self-created! Certainly we object, ‘I didn’t create my fears and doubts!’ ‘I don’t want illness and suffering!’ And of course, that’s true for all of us. In our natural healthy states humans do not deliberately aspire to have disease, destruction or even death; but when we believe we are separate from HP we are automatically identifying with our egos or our egoic minds. It is the ego that edges god/goodness out and the result is the opposite of all that HP is.

I ‘prescribe’ this prayer at least 2 x per day. I look forward to testimony of its effects on your life.

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Assert Yourself!

Posted on May 24, 2011 by Celeste Emelia Mattingly

Do you have trouble saying no? Do you often find yourself doing things for others that you  wish you weren’t doing? Have you identified yourself as a ‘people pleaser’? If so, you are not  alone. In my work as a psychotherapist the number one handout that folks have been getting over the years is ‘the assertiveness formula’.

A few years ago, Dr. Karen Black of Hartford Hospital was listed as a Top 10 Psychiatrist in the Hartford Magazine. She was quoted as saying the most important thing she teaches her clients for their mental health is assertiveness. This formula for expressing ourselves looks simple at first, but it is much harder to incorporate into our daily communication than it looks.  I like to suggest writing it out for practice, and to say to folks- ‘I’m practicing my assertiveness formula, so I want to let you know…  “This is how I see it…” “This is how it makes me feel…” “This is what I need from you…”.


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Divine Discontent

Posted on April 15, 2011 by Celeste Emelia Mattingly

“Inner hunger is a divine discontent that keeps us moving forward.” -Jacquelyn Small [1]

Jacquelyn Small, LCSW and licensed non-denominational minister is another one of my teachers and role models. Her exemplary work is helping to close the (actually non-existent) gap between psychology and spirituality. About four years ago she did a workshop for us at St. Francis Hospital and it was an honor to be in her presence. Many years ago, I latched on to one of her postulates – that folks afflicted with the disease(s) of addiction being obviously high-spirited are therefore capable of achieving great heights spiritually. She believes this is true, especially because desperation, as a result of having been to the bottom, drives them forward, or rather onward and upward. So, when she says that inner hunger is divine – could she actually mean that addictions are divine? Some might say they are true blessings in disguise – what do you think? What has been your experience?

[1] A Woman’s Spirit, Carol Sheffield, p. June 25. HarperCollins Publishers, NY, 1994.

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East Meets West

Posted on April 14, 2011 by Celeste Emelia Mattingly

“Take the understanding of the East and the knowledge of the West – and then seek.” -G.I. Gurdjieff [1]

East meets West has become a catch phrase for the merging of eastern psychology and/or spirituality and western psychology. John Welwood in his classic book, Toward a Psychology of Awakening sums it up this way in his introduction:

“Eastern contemplative psychology, based on meditative practice, presents teachings about how to achieve direct knowledge of the essential nature of reality, which lies beyond the scope of the conventional conceptual mind. Western therapeutic psychology, based on clinical practice and conceptual analysis, allows us to trace specific causes and conditions influencing our behavior, mind-states, and self-structure as a whole. Yet though the Eastern emphasis-on nonpersonal awareness and direct realization of truth-and the Western emphasis-on individual psychology and conceptual understanding-may seem contradictory, we can also appreciate them as complementary. Both are essential for a full realization of the potentials inherent in human existence.” pg. 4.

Welwood wrote these words in 2000. Gurdjieff wrote the above quote in the 1920s. Two points that interest me are: 1) His choice of descriptive adjectives, specifically, understanding for East and knowledge for West. 2) He is telling us to seek.  What do you think he meant by that?

[1] Gurdjieff’s Aphorisms, Gurdjieff International Review, website. Copyright © 1924 G.I. Gurdjieff

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Creative Visualization

Posted on April 8, 2011 by Celeste Emelia Mattingly

“Creative visualization is magic in the truest and highest meaning of the word.” -Shakti Gawain [1]

I like to think of creative visualizing as the first step in the manifestation process. We can’t bring about change without a goal, a plan or a picture of the outcome. When we combine the visualizations with the positive affirmations that the goal has been achieved  we are well on the way. And then when we add the emotional state or the accompanying feeling of having achieved the goals – we have a recipe for success, which can seem quite magical. However, let’s not call it magic. We are learning from the science of quantum physics that manifestation is the natural outcome of the process of creation. Scientists, metaphysicians and a new breed of evolutionary spiritual teachers are telling us we are co-creators of not only our lives, but the universe.  I don’t quite get it, but I do have a favorite manifestation story to share. Email me or leave a comment of your favorite magical manifestation story.

[1] Reflections in the Light: Daily Thoughts and Meditations, by Shakti Gawain. pg. March 1. New World Library, San Rafael, CA, 1988.

 

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Approval

Posted on April 6, 2011 by Celeste Emelia Mattingly

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” -Mark Twain [1] (Twain was a Hartford resident for 17 years! Have you toured his home, lately?)

Many years ago, when my brother Jim and I were in our late teens and we learned about the powerful and potentially debilitating drive for approval, we somehow imagined a light bulb over our heads with a chain hanging below our chins. Pulling the imaginary string and lighting the imaginary bulb while making silly faces and declaring, “approval, approval” became our cue for stopping ourselves short with the people pleasing process. To this day, when I find my chain being pulled I get that image and ask myself what I am really trying to prove… whose approval do I really want or need? The bottom line answer is always as Twain implies- my own is all that matters.

[1] Believing In Myself, by Earnie Larsen & Carol Hegarty, p. October 24. Simon & Schuster, NY 1991.

 

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Active Inner Work

Posted on April 1, 2011 by Celeste Emelia Mattingly

“The energy spent on active inner work is then and there transformed into a fresh supply, but that spent on passive work is lost forever.” -G.I. Gurdjieff [1]

What did Gurdjieff mean by “… active inner work”? I believe he meant consciousness-raising. In his writings he refers to it as doing the Work. He capitalized Work every time he was referring to working on ourselves. In Celestial Psychology we call it Holy Work because it truly is the way to the divine. Mastering our emotions, thoughts, actions, and energy body is actually the highest form of work a human being can do. In his book, Gurdjieff: An Introduction to His Life and Ideas,  John Shirley paraphrases Gurdjieff on this topic:

“Then and now, there are some- alcoholics, addicts, and others [with mental illness]- for whom Work on oneself is a lifeline, is their only hope as they thrash in the turning chaos of their lives. Such people may be more deeply motivated than other Seekers. They’ve been to the bottom– and feel the only way to stay free of it for good is to keep moving steadfastly, if slowly, toward the heights.” [2] pg. 77

Since introduced to his teachings in the 70s I have hung on to this notion that there is no more nobler work in life than consciousness-raising as my personal life-line. Let me know if this concept helps or has helped you in any way.

[1] Gurdjieff’s Aphorisms, Gurdjieff International Review, website. Copyright © 1924 G.I. Gurdjieff

[2] Gurdjieff: An Introduction to His Life and Ideas,  John Shirley. Penguin Group, New York, NY, 2000.

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