“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” -Mark Twain [1] (Twain was a Hartford resident for 17 years! Have you toured his home, lately?)
Many years ago, when my brother Jim and I were in our late teens and we learned about the powerful and potentially debilitating drive for approval, we somehow imagined a light bulb over our heads with a chain hanging below our chins. Pulling the imaginary string and lighting the imaginary bulb while making silly faces and declaring, “approval, approval” became our cue for stopping ourselves short with the people pleasing process. To this day, when I find my chain being pulled I get that image and ask myself what I am really trying to prove… whose approval do I really want or need? The bottom line answer is always as Twain implies- my own is all that matters.
[1] Believing In Myself, by Earnie Larsen & Carol Hegarty, p. October 24. Simon & Schuster, NY 1991.