“Allow me to assure you that suspicion and jealousy never did help any man in any situation.” -Abraham Lincoln[1]

Doesn’t this sound like Abe was speaking from experience? “Allow me to assure you,” he says with confidence.  But, is it really true? There are situations when a little bit of suspicion can save us from a whole lot of trouble. And a certain amount of jealousy has been considered the glue of relationships. Thinking of our personality characteristics on a range of slight to severe, or healthy to defective is helpful. When our characteristics rule us, or overtake us we need to accept them as defects. A rule of thumb for determining how healthy we are is to honestly and regularly assess ourselves. Asking ourselves questions like, “did my suspicions hurt anyone today?” or “Is my jealousy preventing me from having successful and loving relationships?” Because our egoic minds are all about denying our reality- this is a lot harder than it sounds.  Having a confidant, sponsor or therapist as a sounding board, helps us keep our characteristics and our reality in check.